Passing

Poems and Things

I feel depression
Creep, creep, creeping in
Now that the joy of Christmas is passing.
Because again my life’s venture is remedy;
Fix the ailing tension
That exists in my lonely mind.
And be grateful for the seasons and reasons why I’m here. Fighting, but failing to stop thinking of me, thinking of me, thinking of him.

Smile

Poems and Things

How do you smile
when your heart is breaking?
Grin and bearing
Won’t stop the aching.

I can’t take one more blow,
dear Lord, I’m begging.
Flattered confidence, vote accepting,
Please, no more, I’m stuck, I’m bleeding.
Oct 16, 2018

How do you frown
When your family is smiling?
When every inch of you is giving.
When you want to give everything?
How can I say no
when I can’t say yes?
How can I live in guilt and repress
And not show stress?
Nov 18, 2023

Heater On

Poems and Things

I spent a lot of time waiting with the heater on.
With the heater on and my fingers icey.
With my fingers icey and my heart lonely.
With my heart lonely

waiting with the heater on.

Wrapped in Peace

Poems and Things

I soften, just like my icey fingers
over my skillet of onion and bell pepper.
I don’t remember them getting cold,
as I reach for the salt shakers.

I sprinkle the savour
and the Savior I need-
the verse that I almost
didn’t even read.

I scramble the eggs
and unscramble my brain.
Without his presence
my life is vain.

My fingers and mind
are warm and peaceful.
As I roll up my wrap,
I know Jesus is needful.

The food fills my being,
and the word helps restart.
My Savior wants me to be
close to His heart.

Sonder-Rich Haiku

Poems and Things

I live, sonder-rich

Knowing pain, not lost to it

Because Jesus lives.

I’ll Take It

Poems and Things

I didn’t want the new Omnipod.
I didn’t want the dazzle.
I didn’t want the advanced tech.
I’d rather not have the hassel.

I want to commune with the Lord
And stop looking at blood sugars on the phone;
I’d take away food and water for a day,
To feast on the word alone.

I want to feel healthy when older, and only ache with old age.
And I’d rejoice in a simple end,
Not upon Diabetes’ stage.

I can envision at the age of 100
My big family of grandchildren clearly.
And with both feet and kidneys.
I’d like to love them dearly.

But I’m not, and this is why.

God gave me trials to learn and see
How my faith would grow stupendously.
And with it garner empathy
For all who suffer inably.

My loving God shows himself
As I swim in my desert of sand.
I’m stronger than I could have ever been while holding His almighty hand.

A Vessel Redeemed

Uncategorized

I am a broken vessel laid
before my Savior's feet.
I see the nail prints where he stands,
And see him start to eat.

He eats his bread and honeycomb
Rejoicing all the while.
The work of saving souls was done.
I think I saw him smile. 

But the apostles mourned him three days straight
Their anguish was much to carry.
To lose their Lord was abundantly more 
than my burden that must tarry.

I said, "Lord Jesus, I give you me. Make me more than myself can be."
He took my pieces gingerly and pieced me together perfectly.

Knowing just how to mend
A broken vessel in need of love,
He polished me satin and painted on gold,
and brought me to heaven with him above.

I am a vessel redeemed,
By my Savior, Lord and King.
We dwell together in heaven above.
"A vessel redeemed!" I'll sing.

I’m Rachel

Poems and Things

Hypoglycemia is six syllables long, but it's cut me short in more ways.
But instead of counting them, I'll count what I've been given. Today I'll start my day with a thankful heart.
He has healed me with his compassion. Words do not convey the justice of meaning he has had on me. I'm not just a person, I am a daughter. Not just a woman, a mother.

Neuropathy is four syllables long, and it's shot and pained me with grief. But my worth is stronger than that. I'm not just a mother, I'm everything to three who's unpaved ways increasingly,
Look and listen to me.

Im more than these long-winded ailments. I'm more than my tears and my titles.

I'm Rachel.