Pros and Cons to Life and the Pump

Diabetes is Just a Word

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I’ve had the pump for a while now (since april-ish) and things are going well mostly.

The Pros:

One injection every three days!

Not buying long acting anymore costs less money

Insurance paid for pump costs

Doing injections in public is now the thing of the past (phew)

It figures out how much insulin I need based on my blood sugar and food I’m eating which is pretty awesome.

What’s the same:

Taking my count  5 billion times a day (hack)

Lows

Highs

Crippling dispare

What kinda sucks about it:

There is something attached to you every moment (minus when you disconnect to shower and things like that)

I’ve snagged my tube out walking more than once

And I’m not even kidding, this point needs two because even if it doesn’t come out, it hurts like heck.

If my set is connected to my arm (somewhere public to an audience) people like to comment on it. I got really freaked out at the grocery store when the guy behind me was all, “How’d ya get that in ther?!” And I told him I just shove it up there and tried to walk away as fast as possible. I actually was really angry about this. I don’t usually get super pissed, but I just felt so jipped at life that day because I want to just go shopping and not be treated as diseased. Not to mention that my arm is the most comfortable place for the pump to be. And it’s summer. I’m not going out in a long-sleeve.

But there’s always gonna be more sucky things associated with diabetes than positive. And that is something I’ve struggled with. I always try to look for the positive in a situation, and sometimes the situation just really really sucks. My husband is the only one who can really remind me at those times that there’s tomorrow. There’s that one last breath of hope lying a sunrise away. He told me this morning when I was crying that I woke up with a 221 count that everything will be okay. Sometimes he has to say it a few times before I believe him, but I do. Sometimes I don’t believe him and continue to try to feel bad about myself, but that in itself just sucks. So I try to think about the positives as much as I can. 🙂 It helps to just let things roll of your shoulders sometimes because I swear, if I stressed about every little thing that went wrong, I’d be a lot less healthy. I would have psychological healing to do. And I have days for that too.

But anyway, I’m happy with my life. There’s more to life than diabetes, although that’s all it seems sometimes. Diabetes is the way we live, not what we live for. There’s no alternative, but that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh and be happy the same day we cry and feel low. Wipe that tear away and look at that sunrise.

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