Talk to Somebody

Diabetes is Just a Word

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Raise Your Hand! Speak out! Join Tudiabetes.org!

I just discovered a facebook-like place for Diabetics on the internet. It’s called http://www.tudiabetes.org and was suggested by DiabeticDiana’s Youtube video, “10 Things I like about Type 1 Diabetes”. She seems pretty nice, although a little too excited to have Diabetes… Just kidding. 🙂

Anyway, I applied to this community and right now it is pending approval. I feel like I have a special VIP pass or something though, because I feel like nothing can stop me from getting in. I’m already diabetic. Haha.

If Tudiabetes is a little too much community for you, then this place is always here. I created this place to just hear other people and speak out about my life. It’s hard enough as it is, we might as well talk to each other. I think it’ll make us feel better sometimes.

Ah, the family.

Diabetes is Just a Word

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People really try to understand the Diabetic disease, they really do.

I just got back from Memorial Day weekend with my fiancé. We were visiting his sister’s family (husband and 7 month old). Here’s the thing: I’m still getting used to the new future family, and it’s still a little scary. I’m trying to get used to them and before I knew it, my future brother-in-law’s family invited us for dinner. (And I barely talk to my mom on the phone)

I have Diabetes. Jared knows it, and apparently so does his entire family now. So Jared asked them what they wanted to do for breakfast in the morning. His sister replied that they were thinking about getting doughnuts, but that they didn’t want to be inconsiderate of me.

“Oh here we go again…” I think to myself

“Oh, don’t worry, it doesn’t matter,” I say and go on to explain that a little sugar  never hurts anyone and medicine has evolved, and blah blah blahbeblah. Great!

Next day we go to dinner at said brother-in-law’s parents’ house. The mom offers everyone lemonade, and when I politely say no she tells me she was just trying to be considerate, but knows I shouldn’t be having any.

How does everyone know? It really aggravates me. What I really want to know is how my condition comes up in a description of me.

“Um, yeah, Jared’s engaged to this really great girl! Her name is Rachel and she has Diabetes, so make sure you don’t feed her any sugar.”

I can’t expect everyone to treat me equally (dietarily), when for so many years, everyone knew that Diabetics couldn’t have sugar. Time goes on, things change, but people don’t. Nothing changes.

I just want to feel normal sometimes. I also want to stop having that same conversation over and over again. Do you think it will ever change?

WE STILL KEEP GOING

Diabetes is Just a Word

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When you are a diabetic, life is ritualistic, instinctual, day-by-day. Every person differs, with an array of personal worries, but it all boils down to the same thing: to live.

I don’t think some people get it, those who aren’t fully acquainted with Diabetes. The first thing that I think would come to mind when they see or hear the word is somebody who’s fat. Do they think of a ravenous beast consuming case after case of butter? They might, but that’s not who we are.

I was diagnosed a few months after starting middle school, and let me tell you, it’s tough almost dying when you’re twelve. It’s no cupcake walk straight afterwards changing your whole lifestyle with needles and stinging medication. Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes is not for the faint-hearted.

The truth is, most people that develop Diabetes get it from their genes, and most Type 2’s aren’t morbidly obese. Not at all. In fact, most overweight people don’t have Diabetes.

This disease is serious. It kills more people a year than AIDS and breast cancer combined. There are very real problems that can develop in the heart, mind, fingers and toes, and eyes. This issue has crippling affects on the body. Without knowing any better, people tend to blow off Diabetes as white noise, and focus on sympathizing with the diseases that have more prominent affects such as cancer.

I’m not disrespecting this heart-wrenching disease at all. It has viciously killed many people, and puts them through a long, and sometimes short, painful journey. The pain those feel with cancer is well-publicized through newspaper stories, and internet inspirations. This is the worst of all diseases.

Think for a moment of the public you passed by today. Did you brush arms with a stranger? Who was the person sitting across from you on the subway? They may have had burdens unshared with the world. They carried on silently, not a word about their worries. These are the Diabetics around you.

We worry about:

High blood sugar

“Do I have an extra vial?”

Paying for over-priced medicine. The price just went up.

Insurance doesn’t cover enough

“If I eat this, will I regret it later?”

How many carbs are in….

Going to the doctor AGAIN

“I better eat before I go to sleep. I’m not hungry.”

Waking up in the morning

“Will I be able to have kids?”

This is a day in the life of a diabetic. But we still keep going.

http://www.diabetes.org/diabetes-basics/diabetes-myths/

Let your heart be unscathed

Poems and Things

I had a bad teenage life because I made horrid decisions. I met a boy I thought I loved, and began disobeying my parents. I was stupid, and far too spent on my own self than thinking  about how I was making my parents feel, or worse, my future spouse.

When you’re young you think that you understand life more than your parents. You think that you know love better. I mean look at your parents! They fight all the time. Where’s the love between them? That’ll never happen to me…

So you find a guy that’s charming. And as my roommate puts it, he knows all the pretty words to say to you, and not all of them are true (Of course you don’t realize that part for about three years after the breakup). He writes you poems, whispers in your ears, words that you never knew existed. He says he loves you, so he must mean it.

Your morals are pretty strong, but his aren’t so much. And really, how strong are you? When you’re seventeen you aren’t exactly old and wise. You know that he says he will treat your body respectfully, so you believe him! But, remember, you love him, and you make mistakes when your guard is down.

You realize that he’s smudging the line too much and you say, “Hey, I don’t actually like that. It’s not something I’m ready for.” Does he storm off? No, he “loves” you remember? Of course he’ll say sorry. Then he’ll make up for it by saying new magnified pretty words.

He owns you.

His pathetic little life is just full of disappointment and sorrow that of course you have to be his savior, the only one that will be there for him.

So you stick around.

 

And around.

 

Spiraling out of control.

I believe that God lets me decide what to do with my life. He watches over me of course, but it was my decision to end it. Near the end, though, I was praying for help. Because I needed help. This bad feeling inside me had grown into a monster, and I felt like I was possessed with this big black sin. A lie. He never loved me. He used me. His sting is so deep within me that I still feel its jerk, even now when I’m engaged and in love with the best man I have ever met.

If this message meets anyone’s eyes, I hope it touches a young person’s. Because falling in love is not a game you play in high school. Just face it, when you’re that young, it’s harder to see what love really is. Love isn’t something you fall into, but rather something you work for. Pure love is loving someone else more than yourself. Wait until you are old enough before you let anybody say pretty words to you, because if you don’t, your heart may hold onto an ache that will never go away.