He Loves Me

Poems and Things

A wave of relief, made by the sound of my steady heart 
rang loud in my ears
-he loves me.
A wrinkled brow ends with the heat of his chest, not a care in the world
-he loves me.
My mind is as crystal and clear as spring water, not a sound of a demon in there
-he loves me.
I could dance, maybe fly, to him words I confide, with no worry at all
-he loves me.

Let your heart be unscathed

Poems and Things

I had a bad teenage life because I made horrid decisions. I met a boy I thought I loved, and began disobeying my parents. I was stupid, and far too spent on my own self than thinking  about how I was making my parents feel, or worse, my future spouse.

When you’re young you think that you understand life more than your parents. You think that you know love better. I mean look at your parents! They fight all the time. Where’s the love between them? That’ll never happen to me…

So you find a guy that’s charming. And as my roommate puts it, he knows all the pretty words to say to you, and not all of them are true (Of course you don’t realize that part for about three years after the breakup). He writes you poems, whispers in your ears, words that you never knew existed. He says he loves you, so he must mean it.

Your morals are pretty strong, but his aren’t so much. And really, how strong are you? When you’re seventeen you aren’t exactly old and wise. You know that he says he will treat your body respectfully, so you believe him! But, remember, you love him, and you make mistakes when your guard is down.

You realize that he’s smudging the line too much and you say, “Hey, I don’t actually like that. It’s not something I’m ready for.” Does he storm off? No, he “loves” you remember? Of course he’ll say sorry. Then he’ll make up for it by saying new magnified pretty words.

He owns you.

His pathetic little life is just full of disappointment and sorrow that of course you have to be his savior, the only one that will be there for him.

So you stick around.

 

And around.

 

Spiraling out of control.

I believe that God lets me decide what to do with my life. He watches over me of course, but it was my decision to end it. Near the end, though, I was praying for help. Because I needed help. This bad feeling inside me had grown into a monster, and I felt like I was possessed with this big black sin. A lie. He never loved me. He used me. His sting is so deep within me that I still feel its jerk, even now when I’m engaged and in love with the best man I have ever met.

If this message meets anyone’s eyes, I hope it touches a young person’s. Because falling in love is not a game you play in high school. Just face it, when you’re that young, it’s harder to see what love really is. Love isn’t something you fall into, but rather something you work for. Pure love is loving someone else more than yourself. Wait until you are old enough before you let anybody say pretty words to you, because if you don’t, your heart may hold onto an ache that will never go away.

It’s Funny,

Poems and Things

Love is.

It’s funny how it finds you.

So here I am wondering how he found me.

Undetected, he emerged from the pop-up story book of my life.. I knew someday this page would unfold, but I had no idea the beauty and uniqueness that would come with it. And with every pop-up book that I’ve read, I sure am impressed with the elaborate way the paper is folded, how the colors are arranged, and just the simple way it unfolds at the right time. And that’s me, I guess. And my God has each page waiting for me to open. But with any good book, it’s always read in good time.

I’m scarred

Poems and Things

“Get out of my head

please just go away..

There is someone new,” I said.

I found an angel who I can relay:

He’s tall and lean, with a hair full of red,

more sweet, and accepting, than you.

 

In every way he is opposite too,

But no matter how hard I try

I’m reminded of how I loved you true,

and at that thought I cry.

 

Why won’t you go?

I want you gone; please leave me alone.

You’re tossing me to and fro.

 

“I want to hold new love,”(I say),

But each step closer I’m marred.

There’s no solution that I can think of..

The old love left a scar.

One More Step

Poems and Things

One More Step

By Rachel Bryan

I left you alone by the school

and I never felt more like a fool

with billowy-eyes,

I felt no surprise,

for the turmoil I was feeling.

 

I left that city,

racked with self-pity,

with a faint hope in my heart.

All I wanted was a new start,

but I should have looked much farther.

 

A year and a half in the mirror,

and your eyes I only see clearer.

With blue eyes like a storm,

all I felt was lukewarm,

knowing I could never see them again.

 

I try to think of another,

with feelings we’d share with each other.

And with wise time I learn from the past

and see old love’s faults at last.

I am one step closer to “better”.